Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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