so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
