And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
vagina is talking i cant
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
