East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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