going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
