Me too!
Its about making memories worth repressing
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We are two peas in an std pod
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
