We're facebook friends in real life
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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