I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
