he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
