Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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