So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
