At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
