He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
