Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
