You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
