Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize