I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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