I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
