Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
