The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
