Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize