I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
