I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
