I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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