There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
This baby is an asshole
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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