the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
