I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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