The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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