Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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