I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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