I just threw up on my dentist
are you so shy because you have an std?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
