I'm drive I can fine osifer
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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