you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize