i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
