you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
