dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
