you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
