Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
