i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
