none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
