saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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