worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
