This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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