I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize