i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
