There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
