Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?

(646): View more from New York

Lmao what?

(917): View more from New York City

It's a yes or no question.

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(512): View more from Texas

So....maintenance found the bullethole.....

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(919): View more from North Carolina

OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now

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(713): View more from Texas

My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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(417): View more from Missouri

So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?

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(614): View more from Ohio

He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen

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(614): View more from Ohio

He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo

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