I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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