with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
