Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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