Define "chronic" masturbator.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize