Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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