so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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