well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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