Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
