you guys were way drunker than both of me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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