Me. At least after what I've been through.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I am midnight drunk by noon
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
