fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
