dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
