So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
