I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
