i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
